Y’ALL. IT HAS BEEN A MINUTE BUT HERE I AM AGAIN TO RESTART THIS BLOG FOR THE SECOND TIME BUT THIS TIME IT’S ACTUALLY GOING TO HAPPEN CAUSE I HAVE SOME GOOD ASS SHIT TO WRITE ABOUT.
GUESS THE FUCK WHAT Y’ALL: I tricked someone into marrying me!!!!!!!!! And that person is actually really excited about it!!! And we’re super in love and we have the most amazing sex ever and life is really fucking good despite the fact that a nazi cheeto is in charge of the country!
So I know all three random readers of this blog want to know: What do you have to write about now that you’re going to be married and boring?
The answer is: I’m going to write about my biggest hardest adventures thus far- my adventures in ethical non-monogamy.
Here’s the deal. About 6 months ago my fiance brought up the topic of non-monogamy. We had vaugely discussed it in the past but it wasn’t something I was really into and I just assumed (dumb, don’t do this) that my partner would forget about it and not care about doing it the longer we were together. Obviously that did not happen, and they (wisely) decided to bring it up before we sign a legally binding contract connecting us for the forseeable future. The story deserves a whole post or 4 but long story short, I was heartbroken. I freaked the fuck out. And then I had a breakthrough… and another breakthrough… and another one… and then I fucked someone new for the first time in 3 years and realized this is exactly what I want, I just didn’t know it.
But knowing I want it hasn’t solved all the related problems. For example, meeting potential lovers as a femme queer person was challenging at times. Meeting potential lovers as a femme queer person who is engaged and only looking to have casual sexual relationships with people who can accept my relationship style is damn near impossible. [Guess who’s back on tinder…]
I’ve read like, ever medium article ever written on non-monogamy. I’m *almost* done with the Ethical Slut. I’m putting the work in and having the conversations and along the way realizing that, in fact, no one really knows what the fuck they are doing!
So that’s the update and simultaneous future direction. Queerly Yours is *opening up* and hopefully my mistakes and triumphs and general feelings can be a source of support and validation for anyone else working their way through this exciting experience.
Love you mean it-