I’m blogging live from my favorite queer friendly coffee shop in Austin, the beautiful Jo’s on South Congress. If you’re new here, you might not be aware that this is the location of the famed ‘I love you so much’ graffiti. So it seems appropriate to start this (late, I know, I’m sorry, internet troubles at the new house) post by talking about the L word. Not the TV show that made me think lesbians were a lot easier to find, but the word that strikes fear and joy in many a heart: Love.
Love is such a weird word. I think it’s one of the most loaded words in the english language. After all, how can the word I use to describe my feelings about pizza or Jennifer Lawrence’s hair cut share space with the way I tell someone I couldn’t live without them? Maybe I overuse it, but in that case I’m still not the only one. Today I’ve got a lot of love on my brain. The kind that we have for each other in our relationships, and possibly more importantly, the kind we have for each other as a community. So with that, part one is about community. Once I’m a little more vulnerable and possibly less sober, we’ll talk cheesey butterfly firework kiss me in the rain love.
As a queer female, I’d say I’m pretty well aware of how much damn hate there is in the world. It kills me to say that, but there are so many people who still hate women, they spend their entire lives hating our sex so much that they devote their time and energy to hurting us, to keeping us living in fear. The same rings true for those of us who identify on the LGBTQIA spectrum. While we’ve come a long way and have so many of the queers who came before us to thank for the right to hold hands in public, we’ve still got a lot of people who hate us. Who dedicate their lives to keeping us in the shadows, fearful of coming out, making it a crime for us to love who we love and live our lives. It makes me sick, but that’s cold hard reality for ya. We all know it and see it and hear it so my question is this: with so many people hating us from the outside, why the hell aren’t we loving our community?
I’ve got kind of a beef with the queer community in Austin, to be completely honest. Y’all are beautiful, vibrant, amazing even. But a lot of you are real far from friendly. As an outsider, looking in on the Austin Lesbian scene is like watching Mean Girls. A friend of mine (also queer and new to Austin and attempting to break in) calls several well known events the ‘you can’t sit with us’ parties. I’ve met wonderfully outgoing, awesome people who have given up on finding a queer family despite needing one desperately because after consistently being shunned, they just got tired of trying. I am not so easily dissuaded, and will continue to insert myself into any and all situations, but I am also an anomaly who will do anything for a good blog post.
I’m not trying to be an asshole or whine about people not wanting to be my friend. This isn’t about me, and it’s not just in Austin. I think it’s a side effect of the surprisingly small city we live in. What I’m saying is, maybe it’s time for all of us to take a little introspective journey, and ask how we can make our communities (be they queer or otherwise) a more open, inviting place. As per usual, I don’t have any great answers. I’m just here to call out the issue no one seems to talk about and stir the pot a little.
Coming out is hard. Relocating is hard. If you’re doing both like me, hang in there. We’re going to be ok, and eventually we’re going to find our home.
On a slightly unrelated note: Some crazy shit went down Thursday night when I went to Cheer Up’s for Where The Girl’s Go’s AWESOME party. I did some reeeeeeeeal dumb stuff afterward and I know I promised you details but this was really in the front of my brain, so I’ll micro-post about them this weekend when I get some time. Two part time jobs = less free time than I’d imagined.
Thank’s for reading, sharing and commenting, I love you all 🙂